Yeah, it does matter to me.

It Don't Matter to the Sun

It don't matter to the sun
If you go or if you stay
You know the sun is gonna rise
And shine down on another day
There'll still be a tomorrow
Even if you choose to leave
'Cause it don't matter to the sun,
It matters to me

It ain't gonna stop the world
If you walk out that door
This old world will just keep on spinning 'round, spinning 'round
Like it did the day before
'cause to them it makes no difference,
They just keeps on keepin' time
'Cause it ain't gonna stop the world, no
But it'll be the end of mine

What can I say
What can I do
I'm still in love
So why aren't you?


What can I say
What can I do
I'm still in love
So why aren't you?

It don't matter the moon
If you're not in my life
No the moon will just keep hangin' 'round, hangin' 'round
Like it's just another night
Find another place to shine down
On some other lovers' dreams
'Cause it don't matter the moon,
But it matters to me
No it don't matter to the moon,
But it matters to me

Ping Pong

It's the 100th post here. I think I ought to feel a sense of accomplishment for somehow managing to sustain my interest in a single pursuit for so long. Yet somehow I don't feel it. Oh and I'm a year closer to my death. How wonderful. Thank you to all you lovely people out there who actually give a damn that I came into this god forsaken world 19 years ago, and thank you to my parents for enduring all of my odd antics and quirks for the past 19 years. Words are inadequete to express my gratitude.

I guess the saying a year older, a year wiser is true. it's just how long we take to learn our lessons and to see the truth about us that matters. I could go on and on with a post right now, trying to sound intelligent and attempting to be who people wanted me to be. But for once, perhaps, I am myself, and I may finally be at peace with that. Thats what I'd really like. To be at peace. Thats all that I wish for. And thats hardly likely to come easily.

Auf weidersehen.

I don't want to remember anymore.

I want to relinquish these memories of nobody.

Bathtub Sharks

A retarded video to bring myself a little joy.

Peanut

I'm going to be 19 soon. And I've got nothing to show for it. I wonder what people ever saw in me. Well I know the answer to that for some people. They saw a use for me. And so when I had fufilled my purpose, you know the rest.

Auf weidersehen

yeah, you're right, he did it.

I'm happy, oh so happy, oh so happy and snappy and gay.

whatever.

Well, I'll just gob off about it, like I've always done.

Words are cheap. You make them so.

I think I can truly say I understand how difficult cold turkey is. The trigger that knocks you right off the ladder after a long and ardous climb can come at the damnest of times, and from the most unassuming of things. I'm supposed to just walk away from the car crash that I could use to describe our end, but I can't help but stare over my shoulder, and wonder how far we could have driven on had I not been under the influence. DUI they call it. Drunk, Useless, Insensitive is what I was. God, as always, on hindsight things were so simple, it was so easy to avoid all the mistakes we made, it was so easy not to screw up. Well, you screwed up bub, get used to it. I had hoped that blogging would make me feel better, letting it out and all, guess once again, I can't be as succinct and effusive enough to lay it bare and heal. As I've heard so many times this week, the Show Must Go On. And so it shall, as best as it can.

Auf weidersehen.