yep, its time! for another one of those days where i update incessantly and with annoying blaise posts.

ok... what shall i talk about? there's jsut so much to say since i updated a few hours ago. been wandering around a strogg for awhile, and even that didn't manage to keep my mind occupied. ok cloning strogg to butcher hapless humans. lets listen/watch/read (whatever you like, you pesky English sod) me ramble on about that! nah then again, i don't want to have to explain what the strogg are first, and talking about them without a brief background would be pointless. so, since 2+2=22, and 273051 as well, i shall not talk about that. instead, i'll have you read another session of me blabbering my nonsense on this stupid web page. isn't that a great idea? oh and as a side note, i may sound insane, or at least marginally so, but there's a point to what i'm saying, and don't say you understand it if you don't. 'cause i often don't understand it either. whoopee doo whup.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog... know the significance of this sentence? leave me a tag if you do, and in case you're thinking what a complete buffon i am for not knowing it, I KNOW WHAT IT IS. i'm just curious whether its commonly known. and speaking of which, did you know that the nursery rhyme: "ring a ring o roses, a pocket full of posses" or something like that, was refering to the great pneumonic plague which put to sleep almost 3 quarters of the European population? heh a nursery rhyme about the Black Death. How amusing is that. and check out the way kids dance to it. Whoever composed it sure had a sense of humour. a rather morbid sense of humour, but there you go. wonder about all the other nursery rhymes. maybe twinkle twinkle little star was composed for the meteorite that obliterated a huge chunk of siberia. but thats a tangent we shan't explore.

ok let me assume the form of both my self and my imaginary split personality at the same time now. So, we're here infront if our computer, typing a whole load of bollocks to somehow pass time and at the same time engaging in a rather interesting conversation with lois. which is no business of anyone but we said that for fun. or did we? Why do we say things? sometimes, we say things merely to complement another things we said previously, and yet it is not obvious to the listener. at times, we realise that we've said something that has a meaning hidden behind only after its been said. Yet it all falls perfectly in place, as though we say it instinctively. but thats not quite possible, is it? perhaps a parallel universe? that would explain alot of anomalies in this world. yet it would create a whole new spectrum of questions. so we'll leave that be hmmm?

History is an interesting thing. and its also something which we cannot be sure of. i mean, sure, we've got all our whiz bang archaeologists and historians and shit, but can we really believe history? there're a few sayings which put it in simple words, and one is that "history is on the side of the big battalions." which is bloody true, i mean think about it. Lets use the Second World War as an example. History says, Hitler is evil. While i'm not saying he isn't, it doesn't address the other side. Before the war, and all the way from the leadup till the first day, european and american companies supplied hitler's industries with the steel and raw materials to churn out his war machines. then when the war broke out proper, they made a fortune selling the Allies steel to crush Hitler's steel. and at the end of the war, Hitler is proclaimed evil. it applies to all aspects of life, and through out all the time periods. The victor always writes the history books, so the history books tell their side of the story. history isn't really something thats set in stone, we can't just take everything we see at face value and accept it wholesale. But all this is, as always, unimportant, unintelligent, unkindred and totally unneccessary. the reason why i always post such rubbish? its because i cannot, no. its because i dare not post my true thoughts. How tempting it is, to just wash every last bit of dirty linen here, in public, so to speak. to just lay my mind out on a sheet of paper, or a computer screen in this case, and just tell the world ( world in this case refers to all ye people who read this blog anyway) what it is i feel, what it is i think in such a way, and what gets my goat. but i've never dared to. neither have i the linguistic skill or dexterity to veil my words, speaking in riddles and euphemisms. saying, yet not saying, what i mean. why? its damnably frustrating. i'm not as intelligent as i make myself out to be, i'm nowhere as good at english as people think i am, and i'm in no way as perceptive as i lie i am. truth is, i'm just one big sham, a living con job. i live a life of deception, both self and otherwise. now i'm not going to descend into a tirade against myself. thats pointless, even though it is rather satisfying, in its own perverse way.

This post has been written over the course of several hours, about 3 to be exact, with several external stimuli to change the course of my thoughts. which is why it starts of rather more cheery than it is now. it just feels very bleak now. the colours of this page jump out at me, yet it feel so grey and lifeless. ah sod it all. them bloody buggers take joy in this. I guess I jsut ned to cool my head and my heels a bit sometimes. i've never been good with emotions, my own and that of those i love. and its a glaring shortcoming now. i'd best do something about it, but what? i'll sleep on that tonight, assuming i get any sleep at all. ah sod it all, i'll just end here. the less i say the better. Or haven't i learnt that lesson yet.

Auf weidersehen