Updating once more, thank the stars ye fortunate (and mildly misguided) readers! life's been wooky, i've been rather kooky, things are just kinda peachy. but buggers can't be choosers, as i always say, and i'm one sorry bugger. But hey, its kosher, i've got the one thing which can make up for it all. and no, its not herpes. i donch tell euu! No real link there hmmm?

Well moving on, there's a fine line to tread isn't there? between everything that we endeavour in, we'll have to toe this line. and i'd say all of us step over it sooner or later. usually sooner. and it usually has consequences which leave a legacy you'd rather not have known. case in point, well never mind the case in point. but suffice to say, mistakes tend to snowball upon the intial stumbling step. i'd very much like to carry on with this thread, but its likely to open a can of worms i'd rather keep shut, since i'm not exactly the flavour of the week/month/whole friggin AY in certain places, so there you go.

I'm really tired. i feel, the way old Bilbo Baggins did, like "butter spread over too much bread." its not that anything really huge has happened to me; not like i've had to go through some tremendous tragedy, as some people i know unfortunately have had to suffer. but its all the things which mean alot to me which drain me. that and my over-sensitivity to things i ought to not take umbrage against. my life is actually pretty good, so why am i engaging in this utterly pointless and immature spate of self-pity? for that matter, why do i always engage in self pity? why does the whole bloody world (well most of it) seem to enjoy self pity so much? is it ingrained in us by society? or by our peers? or is it simply instinct to feel that we are more important and far worse off than the world at large? Whatever it is, i say bollocks to the people who've told me to sod off my self pity. because several of them have been putting up self pitying acts as well. hypocritic arse wipes. ok i shan't turn this post into too bitter a rant hmmm? its boring to write cheery posts, but getting too bitter is baaaaaaad... like really baaaaad. baaaa... right.

anyways, i'm quite the happy bunny now. happy bunny. heh. reminds me of frank the 6-foot evil bunny. oh well. its really something, to see you after a tiring day, to just bask in your presence after running the race for a day. 60 hours of communication cut-off nearly drove me insane, lets not try 60 days hmmm? its a relief to just be able to cast aside the facade put up to keep others out, the front used to guard from the manipulative. it doesn't matter if you don;t do the same, but its a wonderful feeling, just being myself and having you be yourself. It soothes the festering sore which as threatened to infect my emotions for some time already. and for all of these, and more, i thank you.

I'd love to continue now, but words will undermine my intent, as they already have, so i'll just shut up.

Auf weidersehehn