I think i'm fickle. Don't you? The few people whom i show my heart to seem to think so. And i'm not entirely sure why i seem to trust so easily now. Perhaps i'm finally becoming too lazy to continue being a cynic. It's hard to distrust what people say. It takes alot of energy to analyse every word people say, searching for the slightest hint of untruth or a hidden meaning. But thats not the point, my point is i think i'm fickle. I don't really have much of an idea of what i want now. Studies-wise of course i have an aim. But looking to the other aspects, i don't know where i'm headed really. i guess i've pretty much integrated back into my class, but its the 1 to 1 relationships with some people i can't say are really going well. After hearing things about a person, its very hard not to have your perspective change. And i'd rather not have had my perspective change, cuz its beginning to look to me like what i heard was true. A beautiful illusion shattered. But then again, it could jsut be paranoia. I suppose i've never truely been a good judge of character, what with my past mistakes with judgements.

Perhaps i'm being obnoxious. i should have noticed by now that its not gonna happen the way i want it to. I don't even know if i really want things to turn out that way. Excellent, i'm confused once more. And so should be anyone reading this. Forget it i'll think about this another day. Gotta open the lounge tmr again, pray the pest will not be there. Auf weidersehen.

Back, after an extended leave of absence from my blog. Not really gonna say much for now, i think lots of things that have happened are not meant to be put up for public viewing. Anyway i had a great birthday dinner, courtesy of Sarah, Li xian, xiu ling, henry and wilbur. Its setting the bar rather high for Sarah's day, but i think we'll manage to make it no?

Oh if you're here reading this you should have realised my blog takes a helluva long time to load. haha well i think i should have compressed the image even more before putting it as my background. I've finally gotten rid of the midi file, replacing it with the proper thing. i love this song btw... oh well. thats all for now. A filler post to the end.

Auf weidersehen

This post was supposed to be out on the 29th of October at 6.30 A.M. heh.

I just thrashed my blog twice to get this confounded new temporary skin in, so my archives and all are for the moment gone. doggone it. anyway bear with the music, its a midi file until i can find the proper html code for it. its proving hard. anyone who knows any sites for music html codes be a kind soul and leave it in my tag board will you? Just recovered from a whithering bout of fever, had a temperature of 39.3 for a night and 38.5 the next. Nice to know my body can produce such heat just fine. Thank god its over. oh well i'm off to study for my AO Chinese, sickening thing. Auf weidersehen