I think i'm fickle. Don't you? The few people whom i show my heart to seem to think so. And i'm not entirely sure why i seem to trust so easily now. Perhaps i'm finally becoming too lazy to continue being a cynic. It's hard to distrust what people say. It takes alot of energy to analyse every word people say, searching for the slightest hint of untruth or a hidden meaning. But thats not the point, my point is i think i'm fickle. I don't really have much of an idea of what i want now. Studies-wise of course i have an aim. But looking to the other aspects, i don't know where i'm headed really. i guess i've pretty much integrated back into my class, but its the 1 to 1 relationships with some people i can't say are really going well. After hearing things about a person, its very hard not to have your perspective change. And i'd rather not have had my perspective change, cuz its beginning to look to me like what i heard was true. A beautiful illusion shattered. But then again, it could jsut be paranoia. I suppose i've never truely been a good judge of character, what with my past mistakes with judgements.

Perhaps i'm being obnoxious. i should have noticed by now that its not gonna happen the way i want it to. I don't even know if i really want things to turn out that way. Excellent, i'm confused once more. And so should be anyone reading this. Forget it i'll think about this another day. Gotta open the lounge tmr again, pray the pest will not be there. Auf weidersehen.