Thursday, August 16, 2007

Ennui, is that it? Or is it merely an excess of zeal in absorbing the woes of others? Perhaps it's a product of excessive thoughts that border on obsession, and the delusion that I can make it better. Who's to say that what's better for me is better for you? Whatever it may be, I don't want to feel this way. Its stressing. And I don't want to fall back into my old, darker self. I've just pulled myself out of that faux form, don't let me fall back into that abyss.

Hey Ho. What does it matter?

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Sunday, August 12, 2007

So many pains i want to inflict upon his person, yet so many laws and proprieties that interfere. Verbal sparring shall suffice. Just so long as I don't get too agitated in the process, this should be a cinch. Never mind my decision to mellow a little. I'll leave it for when it matters. I don't like it there now, with those little pricks scurrying around with an over inflated ego.
INFERIORITY COMPLEX
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UPDATE! SCREAM AND BLUBBER AND BLIBBER WITH JOY/DEJECTION/DESPAIR/EXHILIRATION/EUPHORIA/FEAR/TERROR/PASS-ME-A-GOD-DAMN-THESAURUS-SOMEONE!!!!!!!!ok this is not exactly necessary.
A word from you and it all came crashing down. Ironic how i make a ruckus about the little things and then a little thing like this comes along when i'm not looking and sucker punches me. Well I'm praying real hard now that when I crack my eyes to the sight of dawn, what I see will not be unpleasant. Of course, thats assuming anything at all greets my eyes. It'd be infinitely worse not to know. pah. I hear the hecklers starting again. Knocking me for all that dirty linen i hang up around here. HOI at least I dry it before I put it up! I'm not as inconsiderate as my neighbours who hang their dripping laundry out! heh me? considerate? pfffft where's the punch line?
So, we walk and we walk and we walk. And then we walk some more. and at the end of the day, you decide to really walk. And horror of horrors, for all my words are worth, I can't think of anything to say. Mediocrity rocks my socks like pebbles and stones. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me. Cleanse the flea and take a pee. Ah bollocks. That didn't make me feel any better. Not that I truly expected gibberish to sooth that sore thats beginning to develop. And in the span of a few hours too. Must keep it from getting infected. I hear that there's been an outbreak of something nasty in Europe. Was it in England or Germany, I've forgotten. Ah people knock English food and heckle those poor Germans still in purgatory for the sins of their grand fathers.
Back to the point, assuming I had one when I began, ring the bell. The time is nearly nigh to usher in the officials to begin the proceedings. What proceedings, you say? Why, the requiem for a dream of course. Isn't that why you tomfools have assembled so? Isn't it in all propriety and social norm? But its a requiem! pah. sanctimonious arseholes. Begone with you. I've had to bury 2 dreams in the paupers cemetry already, so sod off and let this one rest in peace here in the Sanctuary of the Blameless.
I digress. And i love you. whoopee doo! I love me too. Don't you? Well, whatever. It's arbitary for now. What the heck, its whatever you want it to be. Psychedelic indeed. It sent me to you without wings, and I hope you don't begrudge me for that. There's nought I can do about that aye chum?
My life,
You electrify my life.
Let's conspire to re-ingnite
all the souls that would die just to feel alive.
Tell me, was it everything you wanted to find? Did you leave with the same impression as you did before you arrived? Do you miss me when you're looking for yourself out there? Our hopes and expectations. We remember them, but do we remember them? Or do we allow them to degenerate into black holes and revelations? Some revelations can be pretty nasty, saying nothing of black holes of course. I'm not trying to make a point with anything I've said. Not that I'm capable of making one in my current state. SOD OFF! ARE YOU CHUFFED TO BITS??! Well I am. But then again no. I like hypocrisy, but only if I get a monopoly on it. Ok thats a stretch. A franchise then? Bah, humbug. I'll just sleep then. And indulge in a little wishful thinking. I'll engage in a little harmless delusion that when i wake up tomorrow, everything will defiantely be fine and dandy. Not too great a stretch is it?
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? As things are, I doubt so. And that really saddens me.
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